Slovak Catholics Fight Against Mormons' Influence (I thought the GW Bush visit was over)

Macko Ushko says:   :) Taliban Roman Catholics are fighting efforts by the Moron church to earn official recognition as a religious group in Slovakia.

BRATISLAVA, Slovakia (AP) - Taliban Roman Catholic leaders are fighting efforts by the Moron church to earn official recognition as a religious group in Slovakia.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Morons is urging Slovaks "who care about religious liberty, to support us so we can make money like all americans -religious or not- want to do all the time to the exclusion of any other human mental function or activity as to them clearly everything is about money and that defines one's existence". The morons want Slovaks to sign a petition that would allow their business denomination to be officially recognized. Slovak law requires 20,000 signatures for a church to be registered.

But the Catholic Taliban bishops are telling parishioners that signing the document would "betray" Catholicism (ruin our nice cosy shop we have here since Cyril and Methodius). The Taliban bishops said in a statement that Moron doctrine "is not in line with the doctrine of the Catholic Church. Piss off we were here first"

"We call on all Catholics ... not to sign this petition," the bishops said.

The Moron church said Monday that it was not seeking to convert Catholics. "We just want to profit from your moronically inclined citizens respect the decision of every citizen, and the petition was in no way meant to convert anybody to our faith," Moron spokesman Petr Valnicek said. We just want to be in Slovakia and hang around not converting anybody at all, we just come all the way from Utah for a laugh, we just like the winter here. "cash & profits Religious liberty is all we had in mind. Donations are however very welcome we accept VISA, Mastercard and AMEX, call now and get your free gift of a tasteful plastic reproduction of jesus playing the banjo.

About the Church of Morons

The Moron church, based in the U.S. state of Utah in the south of the USA where all manner of CRAP emanates from (polygamy, people sleeping with their daughters, Ku Klux Klan, burning crosses, persecuting blacks etc ) along with neighbouring texas (GWBush is the most famous texan that alone says a lot etc), has a worldwide membership of more than 12 million morons, according to its Web site. But there are only about 100 Morons in Slovakia, and just under 2,000 in the neighboring Czech Republic.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Morons believes authentic Christianity vanished a century after Christ, and was restored only through founding Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith Jr. in 19th-century America. They also believe that jesus needs cash urgently so CALL NOW!! and have you credit card ready!

Touch your LCD Panel and you'll be healed!

Macko Usko is an atheist bear, religion is the opium of the masses. The Original (unaltered :) ) article is here

Related reading: Moroni the prophet More on the Morons

Disclaimer: Any typos or similarity with organisations and faiths is purely intentional as believing in mambo jumbo is silly and opens one up to ridicule at best and exploitation by bastards like the Church of latter day Saints (AKA Mormons) at worst.


  1. Seems to me the best way to break the stranglehold of religion in Slovakia would be to end the Catholic Church's closed shop. Once people are exposed to nine or ten ludicrous fairy tales as opposed to just one, they will be much more resistant.

  2. And yet they even have Jedi as a religion in the UK, but it just leads to a proliferation of fruitcake religions and cults.

    Not a single Koruna should go to fund the catholic or any church, i am not sure having these guys in the mix would help other than for entertainment reasons.

    ...Oh go on then, alright but only if this story convinced me :)

    p.s. its a long winter in Canada...

  3. Mr Vallee ( american hawk in the fort ) has already been lobbying the Culture Minister and the Morons will have their wish, I am told ..They will be recongnised as an official body ... lets hope it is a corpse .

  4. Lancet, you mean that the 2000 signatures will not be necessary?

  5. Maybe some dead Mormons will sign the petition twice...

    But if the Mormons get their wish I'm not sure how they can refuse to allow a mosque or prayer room or whatever pathetic thing they don't want to allow Moslems to have.

  6. It is what the Americans or Mr Vallee calls ' we believe in religious freedom .. The Mormons have the 20,000 sig's ( not 2000 ) already in the bag . Of course no one thought in the Ministry to ask how much the Morons contribute to the Republican election war chest to warrent this direct lobbying , or why visting the USA 'freedom' ( IE a VISA is needed for Slovaks )is not allowed wihout going through hoops ?

    I guess when you are the biggest arseholes in the world and ruining the planet and Slovakia's main square with a defensive wall around your little fort, you can do just as you wish .